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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Mocking the Draft... Rapping it up

Not a whole lot to blog about recently. News recently has been dominated by Charlie Sheen winning and on the sports side, the Miami Heat losing and crying about it. Spring training is barely underway and hasn’t produced a great deal of headline catching storylines. NFL labor talks are getting increasing boring. About the only thing worth mentioning is the NBA’s late season playoff push. But that’s not too fun to write about. So here comes the third and final installment of Mocking the Draft.

We’ve already delved into movie stars and NBA stars draft potential, now its time to move to the musicians of the world. Like movie stars, all musicians want to be sports stars and sports stars want to and unfortunately try to be musicians (See Tony Parker’s French rap album. Ouch). In order to narrow the player pool, this draft will be limited to rap stars. Rap stars can’t hide behind other band members so there personality is exposed more than any other musician. Rappers incorporate sports into their music more than any other musical genre and some rappers have actually had sporting backgrounds (See Nelly and his St. Louis Cardinal experience and Master P’s basketball career notes.).

After that brief introduction, we are ready for the draft and with the first pick…


He looks the part
1)  Carolina Panthers- 50 Cent
With the first overall pick the Panthers take one of the few rappers that could actually probably play in the NFL. With his size and presumed decent speed, Eminem’s protégé could be a difference maker at the linebacker position. There would be no denying his toughness (Pretty sure he has 9 explanations of how tough he is). After losing Julius Peppers last off season, the Panthers need a defensive play maker to fill a hole. 50 Cent could provide that. As an added bonus, if he can get number 50, he would be the only player in the league with his entire name on his jersey.

2)  Denver Broncos- Snoop Dogg


The Broncos have a need at the receiver position after the departure of Brandon Marshall. While he is old, he posses the size and length for the position. He has coaching experience (OK so his son’s pop warner team doesn’t exactly make him the next Lombardi) and is an avid fan, so he should have a decent knowledge of the game. He has been in the rap game for like 20 years so he has to have some kind of a decent work ethic. All of these attributes sound like he could be a Jerry Rice type and play well at an older age. It might work, it might not. If it doesn’t look like it is going to work, almost positive Al Davis would put together a package to trade for him.


3)  Buffalo Bills- Lil’ Wayne
Either Lil’ Wayne is trying to look like Chris Johnson or Chris Johnson is trying to look like Lil’ Wayne. Either way, it’s got to mean Lil’ Wayne has to have some kind of NFL potential. Sure the Bills may have found a franchise back in C.J Spiller, but Wayne having Chris Johnson potential makes him a no brainer. Like Chris Johnson, Lil’ Wayne falling to the third spot in the draft might prove to be a mistake by the teams who passed on him. He came out of nowhere to have huge commercial success in the rap industry, could he be destined for the same fate in the NFL? His legal problems do pose a potential threat as he could become a little more Pac Man than Chris Johnson. However, he is a high risk/high reward pick and he can’t fall any farther than third in this draft.
The two are almost one and the same

4)  Cincinnati Bengals- T.I
Not quite sure what position he’d actually play, but I’m pretty sure the Bengal’s draft strategy is to pick the guy with the most impressive criminal record. T.I has been in and out of prison for the last couple of years so he seems like a perfect fit with the Bengals.

5)  Arizona Cardinals- Eminem
Wes Welker, Julian Edelman, Jordy Nelson, Jordan Shipley. What is the reason for presenting you with all of these names? The White Receiver is making a comeback! A staple in the early NFL, the white receiver disappeared for years. Yet feisty little white guys like Welker are making the white receiver relevant again. Eminem fits this mold and could certainly succeed in the Cardinals offense as a slot receiver next to Fitzgerald and Breaston. Mr. Mathers has already shown the ability to succeed in a musical genre dominated by African Americans, with a chip on his shoulder from his detractors; Eminem could have similar success as a wide receiver in the NFL.

2 comments:

  1. Frankie pretty dang entertaining buddy!

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  2. Michael, glad to see you enjoyed reading make sure to check out some of my past blogs as well as follow me for updates when new stuff comes out. Spread the word and thanks again for reading.

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